Mittens are not just for little girls!

OK… I am a 39 year old pastor and father of two and I have a confession to make… I WISH I COULD STILL WEAR MITTENS!  Why is it that I can’t wear mittens, because I am an adult?  My wife wears mittens!  Is it because I am a male?  Who decided that mittens were not manly? 

We just experienced the most snow we have had in Western PA in more than two decades (25’’ in first wave followed by 8’’-10’ three days later!) and I have been out in the snow for several days shoveling.  As I have shoveled, I have watched my kids building snow forts in the massive drifts and having snowball fights with their friends.  And as I watched, it became evident that the kids wearing mittens constantly kicked the butts of the kids stuck wearing gloves!

Let me share with you just a few reasons why mittens are better than gloves:

  1. More efficient snowball manufacturing due to lack of spaces between fingers
  2. More efficient snowball blocking due to the same reason
  3. Inability to use the middle finger if provoked
  4. Ability to form a strong fist since mittens are equivalent to very light boxing glove
  5. Your hands are warmer since your fingers share each other’s heat. Gloves have less surface area
  6. No finger hassle while putting them on

I demand that as a man I should be given the right to wear mittens and not be subject to ridicule or condemnation.  I AM NOT A CHILD… I AM NOT A WOMAN… I AM A MAN AND I WANT TO WEAR MITTENS!!!!  

So if you are a man… join me and go buy mittens. No one else is doing it!

 

 

What did you think of this article?




Trackbacks
  • No trackbacks exist for this post.
Comments

  • 2/11/2010 1:51 PM Beth wrote:
    Toney - I used to work with a professor from Minnesota who always wore mittens in the winter. He had leather ones with sherpa lining for when it was really cold. He also had ones that were gloves without fingertips, with a fold-over "hatch" that was a mitten top (kind of the best of both worlds--although you probably wouldn't like them since you still have to wriggle your fingers in the glove part). He indicated that men do wear mittens up there, but your wife may know better.
    Reply to this
Leave a comment

Submitted comments are subject to moderation before being displayed.

 Enter the above security code (required)

 Name

 Email (will not be published)

 Website

Your comment is 0 characters limited to 3000 characters.